pig pig pig!!!

haha...
today when zhi hui hse for meeting again d...
tomoro satrt pre camp d...
damm sienz...
damm tired also d...
haha...
today i met a pig and duno why i fall in love with him d...
lol...
he treat me damm good d...
and he damm funny and cubi d...
haha...
now i still texting w him d...
i damm miss him now and i want see him tomoro d...
take the sunblock for him tomoro...
haha...
cause he scare he will become a black pig d...
haha...
okay laa...
continue my blog tomoro d...
nights yea...

finally...

you've finally said it out loud..
that it's been a long time since you've love me...
why do you have to lower your head?
you know you can't fool me with this joke...
but this isn't a joke...
but evading giving your reason for leaving me...
what else can i do???
you no longer love me...
i love you from the beginning, is that still not enough???
what else must i do you just won't leave me???
i know u no longer want to continue looking at me...
you whole heartedly want to leave me...
i also finally said it out loud...
that i actually very love you but never eranestly said it...
maybe it is my fault...
that i cared so much about you but stored it all in my heart...
don't ask me why...
because my reason is i love you...
there isn'y anything that needs forgiving...
my smiles are somewhat forced...
you know i've always been able to hide my sorrow...
i don't want to see you this weary...
keep hoping you will give me another chance...
my shivering hand is graping nothing but wind...

i love you

i let you free...
it doenst mean that i dont cre anything about you...
is because I LOVE YOU...

i dint have any response...
that not means that my heart will be alright...
is because I LOVE YOU...

i dint cry in front you...
that not means that i dint have any tears...
is because I LOVE YOU...

i love you

his dance got selected today...

today is selection day d...
we got a lot of thing need to learn in a short time...
lol...
that means we are always last minutes d...
lol...
our guides dance and combined dance dint selected today...
damm moody and sad...
i, ke yin and pei er was busy practise the combined dance and guides dance yesterday night until around 6.30am just sleep d...
then we wake up at 7am for washing and bathing...
after that...
we rust to the u-park cause we think that we are late d cause we have promise each other that tomoro meet at u-park at 7am d...
lol...
but even we try practise harder but also dint got selected..
i was too tired and noody so my tears was lost control today again...
but another way...
i felt happy also...
cause his dance was selected although song wrong...
haha...
damm geng d...
okay ler...
wish u got a better dance when campfire night and wont song wrong again d...
now feeling very unwell and keep vamid d...
lol...
want go bed for a rest and will wake up at 11pm d...
maybe will got a new post later...
nights..

meeting untill the night...

today damm busy d...
at 12pm da time dickson and daniel came my hse d...
before that...
i woke up early at 7am for going school for matching d...
lol...
damm bored d...
after that ke yin and pei er follow me back d...
we go cal ah ma hse first for practise patrol special d...
after that we went to zhi hui hse for meeting at 6pm d...
i saw them were huging d...
haihs...
i dono what can i say d...
we dint ate our dinner d...
he was gastric d...
cause dint ate dinner d...
lol...
luckily after that got better le...
huh...
tomoro selection day already...
dono he got nervous anot....
haha...
today i dint sleep ler...
drawing banner and practise for dance until tomoro d..
lol...
hope u sleep early and sleep tight yea...
muax..

真的

我努力的扬着脸孔
试着让眼泪不往下流
不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相 同
想要说却还沉默
伸出手无法触碰
天空突然一 片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我
在我不熟悉的世界过新的 生 活
闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界
自由的走

he was absent today..

meeting at zhi hui's house again d..
he was absent today...
dono why he dint come for meeting d...
lol...
also non of my bisnes what...
so care for what d..
but i want hear his voice again d..
so tomoro we meeting until night d...
and i can hear his voice again d...
i dono what can i say anymore d...
the selection day is coming soon d..
but our dance not yet practise d...
haha...
tomoro is the last day for practise d...
and the exco is coming tomoro d..
moody but busy...
nights..

because i am stupid..

dont you know i am a fool for u...
i dont know anything but u...
while your hearts belongs to someone else...
probably u never know how i feel...
i cant even make u laugh or cry..
u cant remember there is a girl who is looking at the steps that u make...
i cant help my stupid tears falling down...
each time u pass me by...
there is a feeling softly touch my heart...
but the more i love u the more i know...
that i end up being alone...
everyday i miss u that i cant breath...
every night i just cant turn off the light...
cause i am so afraid to describe the way i feel...
once again, alone, crying for u...
once again, alone, missing for u...
i love u, i am waiting for you...

really hard!!!

today go zhihui's house for meeting again d...
i tried not to face him...
but it is so hard for me...
cause he sure will appear when i want to walk away d..
i dont like it...
really...
i feel so hard when i saw they were huging or doing anything...
but i had tried to face that cause both of them also is my friend d...
today like got many break up d...
and got many people d relationship got problem d...
lol...
jojo w mei hoong...
shea ling w wei sheng...
my cousin w her bf...
that is so complicated...
i had tried to comfort them but another way i am crying..
lol..
damm funny d...
i dono what can i say anymore d..
everyday go for meeting really very hard...
but still must act like nothing happen d...

i know the problem between us ler...

now the time is 2.24am...
i am chating w sheng...
i am trying to tell him what are shea ling thinking d...
but on the way...
i know that the problem also...
why will so complicated d...
i dont know...
love is everything...
of course friend is everything...
but why chinese kuan d people cant together w english kuan d people ler..
is that so hard for u all...
i think not so...
just because u all duwan try to open your mind and go accept d...
is that the truth that i said...

now i am missing you and i am wishing you would come back through my door...

today go meeting again...
why u have to go???
tomoro sheng bday d...
lol...
happy birthday to you first...
but also sorry to you...
i cant attend to your party ler...
the reason is cause i got tuition...
really a hundred apologize to u...
but i think that also is a good thing for me...
maybe i will happy the whole day tomoro d...
haha...
cause she got go tomoro d...
then he also got go d...
so maybe will be so miserable if i at there d...
so really sorry d...
i cant do it yet...
today meeting...
why i feel i like got let a people treat me like that before d???
that action...when he was huging me and sayang me...
haihs...
moody...
nitex..

wait for you...

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,

maybe that is true..i really cant live without you...

maybe my friends is true...
i really cant live without you...
i become so moody and quiet everyday...
i dono what can i do anymore...
feel so sad and moody...
get vamid today again cause forget to eat my lunch when meeting...
lol...
what can i forget again?
YOU???
i want but i cant...
i am feeling harder...
i am so addicted to you...
why???
but of couse you are so addicted to her...
u lie me but i try to believe and treat myself as a stupid...
lol...
i know u dont care anything...
i really feel so hard...
when i see it...
i really think that i can put down so easily...
but after trying i just remember that is not so easy and that is so difficult...
i duwan to love you anymore...
i duwan already...
but i cant?
why?
because i believe that i really cant live without you...

the truth that u never know.....

if you ask me whether i stil love you or not..
i can tell you da truth
i miss you but not loving you
i know outsider all thought i still very very love you
but inside my heart i already let you out from my life
i asking myself several times why i will jealous
and i get the answer now
i jealous is cause of i still love you...
but if i can control then i wont...
last time i very love you
but since the day i already let off
i let off all the love to you
outsider is thinking i'm a girl without guy won't die
i admit
but what i dislike is be alone
i like to be with you is because you bring me happy everyday but not happiness
i like you is because you enough naughty for me
this is the stupiest thing i do in my life

first trying!!!

today going meeting again d...
haha..
i am trying to let myself dont see at that...
and dont think at that...
but that is hard...
they are appear in front me every time and every second...
lol..
dono what can i say about that anymore...
it like already finish d...
and he start a new one...
he look so moody today...
dono what happen to him...
"are u okay??? what happen to u??? can u tell me???"

just stay at there until the day that u say u love me...

today went meeting at zhi hui's house again d...
lol...
damm bored and tired today...
we draw banner and plan our guides dance at there d...
that is nice d...
lol..
i saw something today and that will let me became moody d...
haihs...
can i hear it from u again???
i think not...
so i give up...
and just let it go...
can i do it?
i don't think so...
but i will try my best d...
cause i duwan let him feel hard d...
i just want he happy d..
maybe i will just stay at there until the day that u say u love me...
i believe it is imposible also d...

no matter what i do...i feel the pain

u tell me straight to me...
i starting scared talked w u...
cause i will feel the pain...
lol...
but its okay...
cry many times today and after that got become better ler...
haha...
so now i nothing what...
just let u go...
happy is the important...

trust me...i really want you...

(November 15)
i saw your personal msg today when i online...
lol...
i think that what you want to tell that girls gua???
but i want to tell u also...
"TRUST ME...I REALLY WANT YOU..."
this you tell me before when i saw back our msn chat log yeaterday d...
the past and present are really totally different d..
before...as hot as fire...
now...as cold as ice...
lol...
i feel the sad...
damm stupid i know...
today sabrina tell me a thing...
"IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING...JUST LET IT GO...IF IT COMES BACK...IT IS YOURS...IF IT DOENS'T IT NEVER WAS..."
so i let you go...

can we stay back as a friend???

he are asking me this question today and suddenly...
i damm scared when he ask me...
i duno what can i do anymore..
just know how to crying that time...
so i keep crying...
lol...
if he are happy...i will be happy too...
so i respect him and i agree it...
lol...
the reason he ask me like that is cause he like another girl d...
lol...
okay...
its okay...
i nothing to say d...
damm moody today...
nitex..

I am willing

(November 10)
today meeting early at enzio ahma house again...
damm tired and sleepy when we all reach there d..
we just practise our combined dance today...
lol...
but...just leave shea ling and sheng was huging in the living room when we all are practise the combined dance at the kitchen...
haha...
today he are so sleepy so he sleep over there...
but i know i naughty cause i keep kacau u when u sleeping d...
i give u something today at the living room there..
sheng and shealing were helping us more and more...
lol..
when he saw the present...he keep in laughing...
today he just sitting beside me and that was so near..
around 12++..
its the time to go to school...
all guides change our clothes at the room then got some tie hair at toilet...
but except me...
lol...
cause i tie my hair at the kitchen...
he keep huging me and sayang me when i finish tie my hair and waiting for our sabrina...
he ask me to give him sometimes...
and sorry for that...
its okay...
i never mind...
when i came back from school...
i receive a msg...
you was telling me that u willing and ask me to try...
i really get shocked at that time..
it is like a miracle to me...
lol..
thank you so much..

midnight 5am

(November 9)
first time...
i sleep so "early" d...
dam sleepy when i fold the swan for him...
but...it is worth to me lu...
first time do like that d thing for people also d...
lol...
got around 100++ there...
my finger was getting hurt when i cut the paper...
grrr....
i fold the paper start from 1am until 5am++ d...
I suddenly want do something for him when i am lying at the bed and ready want to sleep d...
hope you will like it d...

short post

(October...)
sory for short post d...
this few day really very busy for the traplex camp...
everyday also got meeting...
so not free d...
sorry...

the first unit meeting

(October...)
i meet enzio and jian ming at here...
lol...
they are look like so stranger...
and scary...
haha...
but we three have chat yesterday night using sms d...
lol...
go for enzio ahma house...
the enzio still asking who is minyi when we all reach there d...
lol...
really damm funny d...
the unit 3 d UL also come to our meeting dono for what...
so kpc d...
haha...
go there just sit at the corner cause damm paisei d...
haha...
we totally are like two different world d...
after that...
i go queens w sabrina...
then they all i dono became how ler...
haha

first meeting at penang free school

(October...)
Sory for late updated...
I will replace all d...
We had our first combined meeting at penang free school canteen d...
The meeting was late...
LOL...
Wait at there like stupid d...
And damm hot there d...
Guides w scouts are like totally different world like that...
The scouts like alien aneh d...
Haha...
Expecially the UL...
LOL...
And the unit 3 d UL...
We finish our meeting at the field there...
But unfortunately...
I saw nicholas there...
Damm miserable d...
All my friends are gossip at there about me d...
After that...
We end w the english scouts command...
Damm funny...