we belong together

look at my tears
i will trust you
everyday i cry alone
i am so thankful
baby baby hold me
let together like this until forever
you can lean your weary body on me
i want to love you always baby
today too my shining baby boy
came to me
dont stay over there and say hi
my sweet lover
i am still bashful
i shake whenever i see you
hug me when i am
cause i need you
fly to the sky if we did not meet
how would i be like
you're the reason i live
i cant be without you
i need you feel you
look into my eyes
only whisper to me
with those sweet lips or yours
live only by me
with those tears that we both shed
we promised looking at the sky
i pray everyday that we will be together
trust me i love you
you are my one
whatever anyone say the relationship between you and me
will not end
in this world the most
most incredible
leave me alone everyday
alone together
the direction we lead our life
i am tired and tired so that
You and me will be how we fall
Confined in life’s maze
You cheered me up my hero
After meeting you
My life is like drama
uh My feelings for you
Wider than an apple tree
More blue like the sea
A struggle with the weary wind
Forever me & you
Our love is happening now
Look at my eyes
I will trust you
baby baby
Hold me like this
Let’s be together forever
You can lean your weary body on me
I want to love you always
Hold my hand
Trust me
Since we are together
There is absolutely nothing to worry about
Look to me
Don’t sulk and lean on me
In your mind I’m
Today too you excite me always
Hugging your chest
I will seek you
We’re forever
baby baby
Don’t leave me
Without you there is no me
You know
baby baby
Don’t let go of my hand
Don’t make me cry
Forever like this my love
baby baby
Though time passes
We’ll still like before
u know You know me
baby baby
I’m here
Lean on me
trust me my love

forever with you

hey baby girl
what's up
pretty ma
By chance do you know what today is
Do you know u know
Its a one year anniversary since you left
The first time I've met you
Its feels like it was only yesterday
White, so white your face and
Clear so clear your eyes and
The snow that feel deep into the night
Your bright smile, everything
I remember every little thing
Unable to forget your presence, everything
it's you're ma life
Even if I had called so late into night
Always together
So long our conversation went
Until the morning
I love you I love you I love you
I'm foolishly in love
I know only about you
You are my angel
Always be next to me love
Don't let go of my hand
Don't leave, don't disappoint this love
If you trust for your whole life time
You can go on living
Even if you broke up with me
My heart will never change
If its with you, I will go anywhere
I'll love forever with you
A day without you
Becomes a long day and a long night
Every day if it seems like nothing
Unable to do anything
If a hand is out
I would grab it for you
Even today your name
I wrote those three letters
Without knowing I grabbed the worn out pencil
With you I am always
Happily singing those lyrics
From now on I will hide
For a moment my pain
Perhaps my memory will
Draw out in white
Trace out the love
What was a drama to me
Where are you now
Even like this it is become tiresome
Surely with a great stubbornness
Again it might not be able to be done
This time I won't let go
To be forever you and I You&I
grabbing both hands
just We be long together
Always be next to me ma love
Don't let go of my hand
Don't leave, don't disappoint this love
If you trust for your whole life time
You can go on living
Even if you broke up with me
My heart will never change
If its with you, I will go anywhere
I'll love forever with you
On a clear morning
More shinier than the sun rays
At a sweet love
Feeling your love
To see and to want to see more
To hear more and more I become happy
Your lovely name
On a clear morning
More shinier than the sun rays
At a sweet love
Feeling your love
To see and to want to see more
To hear more and more I become happy
Your lovely name
this is so hard...
i guess i still cant go on without you
like a fool...
it feels like you'd be here when i open my eyes
im sorry
and i love you forever

exchange diary

the yellowish diary on the table, was pastime memory...
the first page was written full of happy promised...
exchange our feelings, nobody could withstand our love memory...
we ended now, but why our story didn't continues?
what you have wrote, it will always be etched in my memory...
don't go when u say so, when u haven left me any message...
without you in my world, i don't know what is happiness...
without your exchange diary now, left only a lonely me...
in our pass diary, we wrote our feelings...
laughing at our pass time, recalling it...
in my heart, i do not know why u left me...
image of you is stuck in my memory, tears keep rolling down on my cheeks...
why we have difficulties between us?
happiness was not completed...
giving up was your answer...
i will use to be without you anymore...

jojo - shinee

i know that... (my baby, i love you)
i gotta get over you...
that's right that's right...(my heart)
look, just look at that look...
she's almost like me, saying how it's easy to...
forget...
i don't want to believe it...
a restless night...
i'm so sick of my head hurting...
i get on my knees...
hit my chest, and even if i cry...
that something can't be done be done...
jojo! when the sad music flows...
i think of you...
jojo! why can't i erase???
a heartless you...
what did i do wrong???
i, i was blind...
i get trampled by both if your eyes...
i, i was blind...
so many lights, i wonder why...
what can i do to make it right?
everything will be alright...
so jojo, just tell me why???
i don't want to cry...
my abandoned heart gets scratched deeply...
i'm so sick of my head hurting...
jojo! when this bitter musics stop...
i want to sent you away...
jojo! why can't i?? why can't i???
erase a heartless you...
baby jojo, do you know???
the heart here is also cold...
baby, baby, why did you leave???
i cry and become exhausted...
waking up from a dream...

ring ding dong - shinee

baby, i've been charmed by you...
but why are you acting to me this way???
don't escape, if you're afraid...
how about just trusting me, my lady???

[Ring ding dong
Ring ding dong
Ring diggi dingdiggi
Ding ding ding]
[Ring ding dong
Ring ding dong
Ring diggi dingdiggi
Ding ding ding]

butterfly!!
when i first saw you...
you flashed in front of my eyes...
my brain stop and the bell rang ding dong...
i mean i'm not a cool guy...
not a kind guy...
not a guy like that but about to be...
i'm a decent bad boy...
you're like a butterfly...
you are too weak so you fell...
you were too gentle so you fell...
i have to be by your side...
don't worry about it...
don't worry...
just trust me and everything will be okay...
baby, i can't stop my heart oh crazy...
you are too beautiful, i can't stand it oh crazy...
if it isn't for you, i wouldn't need it oh crazy...
why am i acting this way???

damm miss u tonight...

i damm miss u tonight...
no matter what i do...
u wont care it...
is that i am so stupid???
but anyway...
no matter what u do...
i also wont scared n wont care....
cause i am going to love u until the end...
i love you...
can i date u on new year eve???
are u going that day?
i hope u are going that day...
god...
please help me....
let my bro take me out for countdown n of course he must going out also d...
please laa...

christmas eve..

today is christmas eve...
but unluckily i cant hang out w friend today n cant gountdown w sheng them together this year...
haihs..
damm no mood d...
just now went to gurney w PARENTS...
i saw sheng, you gene, jojo n adrian at the ground floor and get ready to countdown d...
haihs...
when i want back da time...
i saw pei er also...
geram nia...
went gurney countdown dint tell me d...
ggrrr...
she are going for countdown w her lover, you gene...
lols.
i got wish nicholas merry christmas w sms this year too...
n of course he got wish back me also...
like last year d...
haha..
damm miss him now...
if new year eve i can pass w him tiok good ler...
god a..
can u give me a chance to paa my new year eve w him???
like last

lazy..

haha..
lazy uploaded new photo already la...
the other photo will be uploaded at facebook d...
if want can go there for a look...
got a lot of memories when going the trip...
but..
at there...
the air is very dirty at the place is very poor...
i means myanmar...
that let me got a lot of pimples d...
lol.
geram nia...
but of course not just me got laa...
haha..
all my godsis also got d even my brother also got d...
haha..
hope it will be better laa..

when we are on the plane.. we taking photo again..haha

the memories of thailand n myanmar trip

"i w my bro were taking photo in the penang airport before go up to the plane.."

stand by me..

stand by me..
look towards me even though i don't know love yet...
guard over me because i am still clumsy at love...
my feelings get better as i looked at you...
i find myself randomly singing...
i even want to buy a single love...
this side of myself is so new...
as my heart closer to you...
the world becomes more beautiful...
if you feel my nervousnees...
will you just wait a little bit???
together make it love...
forever make it your smile...
filled with your bright smile...
now hold my hands...
the more i get to know you, my heart quivers...
all i can do just is smile...
shall u try to kiss me??
will it get me a little closer to your heart???
could thid feelings be love???
i'm still shy...
i haven't even take a single step to you...
so please wait for my love..
somehow, i want to be closer to you...
i want to seem a bit cooler from you...
i didn't know at first...
how to begin to love...
i still don't know my heart but i still love you...

thailand, i am coming!!!

lols.
tomoro morning must wake up at 5am already.
cause must get ready to airport cause we whole family are going for a trip tomoro..
yeah!!!
so of course..
i wont take my laptop go so must next wednesday just can online n updated my blog ler..
haha..
hope i can enjoy it laa.
n the important is..
hope tomoro my parents, milline, bro n me can wake up yea...
if not...
then hosei liao..
haha...
okay laa...
nights yea...
=)

rainy love

the weather outside the window...
is like your many changing expressions...
it is start to rain and the rain cry with me...
it is blurry and i don't want to see clearly either...
leaving you, i silently retreat...
i can't bear to tell our story...
my tears flow into my heart and i am learning how to give up...
listening to the rain, the rhythm is distinct...
your breathing soaks my love like the falling rain...
i hope that the rain will continue to pour...
let me continue to miss you...
let my love become transparent...
i fall in love with the rain that gives me courage...
the rain drops outside the window...
slowly accumulate...
the moisture indoors are memories of my love for you...
i hope that the rain will continue to pour again...
the secret of my rainy love will last forever...
i believe i will see the beauty of the rainbow...
the cold cold air is soffocating and i cannot breath...
the distance of ten thousands rain drops...
lets love fade completely aways...
tonight u let me breath hardly again...

count down to the christmas..

24th!!
are you going out that day??
i am trying to going out that day cause u..
i hope i can see u that day n can done anything...
i hope that i can talk to u that day...
i hope that u can accompany me that day..
i got a lot of wish..
all is about u..
u teaching me how to love a people..
u change my world...
u is the first one..
but why...
i cant be your another side???
izit i not suite n not enough mature?
one year already...
is that so hard for me..
maybe at the center will change a bit...
but finally i also feel that i still love u...

one second is okay..

我关上了门最后一次听你说我们
熟悉变陌生把我往记忆里扔
我应该习惯你离去的眼神
才能让失去你变的更完整
窗外的街灯还在努力掩饰着早晨
我的叹息成真了整夜的苦闷
我该努力习惯这样的气氛
才发现失去了爱不用再等
我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来你只是那么难预料
早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只能让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好
清晨的街灯唤开了城市中的心门
我的等待成真了整夜的苦闷
我努力在你的回忆里狂奔
才了解失去了爱不用再等
我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来爱你是那么难预料
早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只能让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好
多想再一次紧紧的拥抱
就算给我一秒也好
一秒可以给多少我都想要
我知道我的一切你已不想要
即使在乎也只让你想逃
我不相信这全是种煎熬
原来爱你是那么难预料
早已看穿没有我想要的好
我的等待换不到你拥抱
只好让回忆短暂的炫耀
原来任性对彼此都不好
让回忆继续反复炫耀
原来失去对彼此都不好

unbelievelable..why!!!

today i heard that sheng broke up w shea ling yesterday...
why??
cause yee lin and zara them d..
omg..
shea ling damm hate them but unluckily they still is sheng godsis..
sheng feel so hard to them n duno what can he do anymore...
he is finding a way to let each other good of course himself also wont feel so hard..
but my opinion is..
unless they be friend or else that is imposible..
sory about that...
haihs..
suddenly let me think that i dint togethe w u maybe tha is true...
cause i also cant accept if we together then after that u still want broke up w me d..
haihs..
moody..
new post later..

sand painting...

the afternoon wind shook the branches, shake off the summer...
i spoke earnestly to the cicada, worried about you...
the night breeze taps the sand, the waves have no time to grow and rise...
i am more naive than i am foolish, i can't let go my love for you...
this scenery is like a painting, full of phoenix flowers...
the sprinkler in the yard, sprinkler of words of affection...
waiting for the most beautiful sunset, waiting for the story to develop...
i use the shifting sand in my hand to draw only you...
i said before that we would never be erases...
my youth begin to cause a riot...
because i loudly and roughly said i love you...
i used the lightly shifting sands in my hands to depict your face...
i also promised that it would never be redrawn...
it's a promised that i won't take back because i love you...
longing will becomes a flower, i had your memories dried into the sands in a bottle...
you're like a sand in an hourglass, dripping down...
painting beautiful nails, drinking the tea that u brewed, it turns out that happiness can be this graceful...
no matter how many sandstorms, no matter how many forks in the road, i can always still find you...
i don't care how the wind blows, i don't care how the rains fall, the more it hurt the more i'll come...
oh, love's shining tears, for you, i can act like a fool...
just because i love you...

sand painting...

dark sky...=(

if you don't appear again...
in my world what else is precious???
pity the time is not enough...
to let us text what is forever...
thinking of you becomes cherishing the memory...
wanting to like you become heartbreak...
unluckily i still care about you...
who will you belong to in the end...
today my sky is a little dark...
my heart is season of fallen leaves...
i don't know how to spend tonight...
every light are all already off...
if you have never appear...
will i feeling a bit happier???
pity the cruel time...
always want to destroy the promise bit by bit...

crush

i hung up the phone tonight..
something happen for the first night...
deep inside...
it was a rush...what a rush...
cause the possibility that you would ever feel the same way about me...
it just too much..just too much...
why do i keep running from the truth...
all i ever think about is you...
you got me hypnotized, so mesmerized...
and i just got to know...
do you ever think when your all alone...
all that we can be, where this thing can go...
am i crazy or falling in love???
is it real or just another crush???
do you catch a breath when i looked at you???
are you holding back like the way i do???
cause i try and try to walk away...
but i know this crush ain't going away, going away..
has it ever cross your mind???
when we are hanging spending time...
are we just friend???
is that more and more??/
see it's a chance we've gotta take...
cause i believe that we can make this into something that will last...
last forever, last forever...

beh syok laaa!!!!

tomoro they all are going qb d..
yer...
i cant go laa...
now just fever...
tomoro cannot go dy lu...
haihs...
but never mind laaa...
when christmas count down da time...
i comfirm that i want go out w them d...
haha..
i want pass my christmas w them d...
i hope that nicholas chor will accompany me that time also d..
can maa?
i duno yet..
i think that is imposible d laa...
haihs..
but if can i really hope it..
even just 1 day i also enough dy d...

i really very miss traplex today...

today...
my mum buy a packet of tebu drinks for me...
it let me think back that when we drink it together at meeting..
it is so memorable...
when i saw back all the video n picture that we take...
i cry..
my tears was lost control...
i miss u all guys...

很爱

当你开始变沉默 习惯逃避我
爱你的心开始慌了 被摇晃了
空气冻结了
你转身扬起的残忍 我不认得
记得你说 有你在 怕什么
绝对不会让我伤心的
是你说的 你很爱我 为什么要把心摔破
你很爱我 却丢下我 在习惯你肩膀以后
是你说的 你很爱我 只是不再 牵我的手
幸福地图被你带走 爱回不来了
当声音变得微弱讯号断续着
你的承诺开始乱了
断线了 不能完整了
像台风侵略过以后一片寂寞
想起你说 有你在 怕什
至少还有你会陪着我
是你说的 你很爱我 为什么要把心摔破
你很爱我 却丢下我 在习惯你肩膀以后
是你说的 你很爱我 只是不再 牵我的手
幸福地图被你带走 爱回不来了
紧握的手被你推落 心终于被伤透
不如就让我任性的 哭个够
是你说的 你很爱我 为什么要把心摔破
你很爱我 却丢下我 在习惯你肩膀以后
是你说的 你很爱我 只是不再 牵着我的手
幸福地图被你带走 爱回不来了
是你教我学会相信
而我又该相信什么

i miss u all guys and suddenly damm miss last year unit1 scouts...

today...
going zhi hui hse for a gathering w them...
but after that i going back early cause querel w sheng ler...
i duno what did i do or what did i say will let him so angry and walk out from the hse d...
i am sorry to u and hope u accept my apology d...
sorry...
tonight..
i lying at my bed and started thinking so many thing...
first...
i think back the memorable camp for me that is traplex..
it is so good and let me so memorable...
i hope that can be extend or dont have the end d...
although that is so tired and the sun is so scary d...
but i also duwan got the end d...
lol.
i damm miss the guys now...
yougene, jojo, jian ming, ka ming, enzio, wei sheng, ka yang, daniel, dickson, minson, calvin, vash and so much...
i really very miss the sound that they follow what am i say although that is so geli when hear it...
after thinking of this...
i think back the last year traplex...
i was same unit w chenz, shannon, nicholas, ming wei, ean ming and the ATL pheng sheng...
they give me a lot of memory also...
expecially nicholas chor...
the first guys that i like and that are no changing until now...
lol.
i very miss him...
really very miss him d...
i now just know...
since i still like him d...
=(

what can i say today???

i am sorry everything is over..
but i guess this is really over now...
there is something i gotta say before i let u go...
listen...i would argue...
then i would cry...
as u sre struggling...i would only get a stronger...
my heartaches behind this shadows...
my face brightens up when i saw u smile on me again...
i worry that u might notice my feelings...
and i get scared that the gap between us would widen...
i hold my breath then i bite my lips...
then i pray that u wont leave me again...
baby..can u love me again???
i've be waiting u for so long...
i duwan to be alone...
please look at me now...
once the musics end..i want us together forever...
i prayed and prayed this day would come to me...
you never understood what my feelings...
i despited on u so much...
to the point i sometimes would miss a misfortune upon u...
but now, my eyes are dry...
now i am talking to myself..it must be an old habbit...
please forget how misereble i looked...
its going to be so unbearably hard for me...for a long while u come...
for such a long time...
i lived in an illusion like a fool...

6 december beach day

today when to paradise beach after camp cause the troop leader had organise a beach day...
lol.
so many people go there n of course a lot of couple d...
wei sheng w shea ling...
you gene w pei er...
zhi hui w min son...
jojo w mei hoong...
enzio w wei wei...
ke yin was waiting calvin coming but finally calvin also dint come d...
and i also hope that nicholas can come that time but he also not coming d...
haihs...
i damm miss him and i feel so regret why i dint treasure the campfire night d...
why!!!
i am so sadly...
i so miss him and he can appear in front of me now and wont leave me anymore d...
one year already...
i still like him d...
the feeling is come back to me again d..
why???

6 december beach day

campfire night

tonight is campfire night...
i saw chor was coming tonight d...
lol.
i walk there and say hi to him...
chenz still tell me that he is wan t come and talk to me d../
but he very paisei d...
lol.
nvm lu..
i w zhihui walk go there and talk w him d...
i am asking him izit he forget me already...
and he want play to me so he answer me yea...
kek si me e...
grr...
today very less talk w him d...
haihs.
i want talk more w him d...
and after tonight...
i very comfirm that i still like him d...

2 december 2009

the second day of camp...
really is very tired ler...
haihs...
but i feel that is worth to me d...
cause i like it d...
today got modern cook d...
haha...
then still got cabaran d...
very playful lu...
whole body also is the pelaka, flour, kicap, saiuce...
lol.
very dirty d...
feel very hard and pain when bathing d...
haha
when change clothes also very hard d...
after bathing when back to our campsite again d..
haha
i saw chor, chenz, ean ming, shannon and matteww at there...
but i dint walk go there and talk w them cause paisei d...
haha...
when i having my dinner...
suddenly matteww walk near me and ask me what is my phone number...
i get shocked that time d...
but after that he explain that not he want d...
is chor want d...
that time...
i more shocked...
lol.
duno why he want my phone d...
lol.
i think many at night d...
i feel that i use 4 months to forget him and i think that i really give up le but at the last i just know that is wrong...
the feeling come back to me again...
now i just remember that actually i is still like chor d...
haihs...

1 december 2009

the camp started today...
lol.
first time feel so nervous d...
first day damm bored d...
dint have any special d...
tonight pei er n ke yin overnight at my house d...
lol.
very tired but still need do a lot of thing d...
cause not enough time d...
so i dint sleep tonight d...
finnaly, i finished my thing d...
but when i want sleep da time...
i saw the time...
OMG!!!
the time is 5.45am already...
wth...
want late dy...
faster go for a bath then after that went to camping d...
so dint sleep also ler...

the pre camp of tuesday...

today went to penang free school for pre camp...
the camp started tomoro..
today i went to minson classroom w calvin and minson after finish our lunch at mcd...
damm funny and playful d...
his class at third floor...
we walk through the class one by one from sheng class to calvin class..then reach minson class d...
inside the classroom got another room and that is so scary d...
minson got the key and he try to open the door let me saw...
but wth...
he pull me inside and try to lock the door...
i was crying inside but they duno d...
lol.
i very scare dark and inside really like ghost room d...
after my shouting...they just let me go out d...
after that...
we sit at the class...
i sit at the chair and minson sit the table...
lol.
i try to guci him when he was trying to perli me...
damm pek chek d..
got sometimes...
he like try to lying on me but i duno is that truth...
i hug him today...
when i was huging him...
i hope that the time will just stop at there d...
around 3pm like that...
we go down and walk to the field again to continue our tower d..
i very scare him after huging him d...
grr...
when sheng mum was coming...
minson take back his spectacles from me d...
cause that spectacles..
i fall down from the around 200++cm high tower to the floor...
damm pain...
my head, waist, and leg was getting hurt....
very pain...
my head was get a banglo there d...
today damm suey d...
ke yin, pei er and i went to tesco for buying the ingredients and my waist and leg is damm pain that time...
when we coming back from tesco...
we started to our log, manu and souveniers...
i fall down again from the bed and i long the head w he same place...
maleh...
now like hyper banglo dy...
yor...
i need to continue do my stuff dy...
maybe wont sleep tonight d...
continue tomoro after the 1st day of the camp...
nights...
sleep tight yea...

pig pig pig!!!

haha...
today when zhi hui hse for meeting again d...
tomoro satrt pre camp d...
damm sienz...
damm tired also d...
haha...
today i met a pig and duno why i fall in love with him d...
lol...
he treat me damm good d...
and he damm funny and cubi d...
haha...
now i still texting w him d...
i damm miss him now and i want see him tomoro d...
take the sunblock for him tomoro...
haha...
cause he scare he will become a black pig d...
haha...
okay laa...
continue my blog tomoro d...
nights yea...

finally...

you've finally said it out loud..
that it's been a long time since you've love me...
why do you have to lower your head?
you know you can't fool me with this joke...
but this isn't a joke...
but evading giving your reason for leaving me...
what else can i do???
you no longer love me...
i love you from the beginning, is that still not enough???
what else must i do you just won't leave me???
i know u no longer want to continue looking at me...
you whole heartedly want to leave me...
i also finally said it out loud...
that i actually very love you but never eranestly said it...
maybe it is my fault...
that i cared so much about you but stored it all in my heart...
don't ask me why...
because my reason is i love you...
there isn'y anything that needs forgiving...
my smiles are somewhat forced...
you know i've always been able to hide my sorrow...
i don't want to see you this weary...
keep hoping you will give me another chance...
my shivering hand is graping nothing but wind...

i love you

i let you free...
it doenst mean that i dont cre anything about you...
is because I LOVE YOU...

i dint have any response...
that not means that my heart will be alright...
is because I LOVE YOU...

i dint cry in front you...
that not means that i dint have any tears...
is because I LOVE YOU...

i love you

his dance got selected today...

today is selection day d...
we got a lot of thing need to learn in a short time...
lol...
that means we are always last minutes d...
lol...
our guides dance and combined dance dint selected today...
damm moody and sad...
i, ke yin and pei er was busy practise the combined dance and guides dance yesterday night until around 6.30am just sleep d...
then we wake up at 7am for washing and bathing...
after that...
we rust to the u-park cause we think that we are late d cause we have promise each other that tomoro meet at u-park at 7am d...
lol...
but even we try practise harder but also dint got selected..
i was too tired and noody so my tears was lost control today again...
but another way...
i felt happy also...
cause his dance was selected although song wrong...
haha...
damm geng d...
okay ler...
wish u got a better dance when campfire night and wont song wrong again d...
now feeling very unwell and keep vamid d...
lol...
want go bed for a rest and will wake up at 11pm d...
maybe will got a new post later...
nights..

meeting untill the night...

today damm busy d...
at 12pm da time dickson and daniel came my hse d...
before that...
i woke up early at 7am for going school for matching d...
lol...
damm bored d...
after that ke yin and pei er follow me back d...
we go cal ah ma hse first for practise patrol special d...
after that we went to zhi hui hse for meeting at 6pm d...
i saw them were huging d...
haihs...
i dono what can i say d...
we dint ate our dinner d...
he was gastric d...
cause dint ate dinner d...
lol...
luckily after that got better le...
huh...
tomoro selection day already...
dono he got nervous anot....
haha...
today i dint sleep ler...
drawing banner and practise for dance until tomoro d..
lol...
hope u sleep early and sleep tight yea...
muax..

真的

我努力的扬着脸孔
试着让眼泪不往下流
不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相 同
想要说却还沉默
伸出手无法触碰
天空突然一 片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我
在我不熟悉的世界过新的 生 活
闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界
自由的走

he was absent today..

meeting at zhi hui's house again d..
he was absent today...
dono why he dint come for meeting d...
lol...
also non of my bisnes what...
so care for what d..
but i want hear his voice again d..
so tomoro we meeting until night d...
and i can hear his voice again d...
i dono what can i say anymore d...
the selection day is coming soon d..
but our dance not yet practise d...
haha...
tomoro is the last day for practise d...
and the exco is coming tomoro d..
moody but busy...
nights..

because i am stupid..

dont you know i am a fool for u...
i dont know anything but u...
while your hearts belongs to someone else...
probably u never know how i feel...
i cant even make u laugh or cry..
u cant remember there is a girl who is looking at the steps that u make...
i cant help my stupid tears falling down...
each time u pass me by...
there is a feeling softly touch my heart...
but the more i love u the more i know...
that i end up being alone...
everyday i miss u that i cant breath...
every night i just cant turn off the light...
cause i am so afraid to describe the way i feel...
once again, alone, crying for u...
once again, alone, missing for u...
i love u, i am waiting for you...

really hard!!!

today go zhihui's house for meeting again d...
i tried not to face him...
but it is so hard for me...
cause he sure will appear when i want to walk away d..
i dont like it...
really...
i feel so hard when i saw they were huging or doing anything...
but i had tried to face that cause both of them also is my friend d...
today like got many break up d...
and got many people d relationship got problem d...
lol...
jojo w mei hoong...
shea ling w wei sheng...
my cousin w her bf...
that is so complicated...
i had tried to comfort them but another way i am crying..
lol..
damm funny d...
i dono what can i say anymore d..
everyday go for meeting really very hard...
but still must act like nothing happen d...

i know the problem between us ler...

now the time is 2.24am...
i am chating w sheng...
i am trying to tell him what are shea ling thinking d...
but on the way...
i know that the problem also...
why will so complicated d...
i dont know...
love is everything...
of course friend is everything...
but why chinese kuan d people cant together w english kuan d people ler..
is that so hard for u all...
i think not so...
just because u all duwan try to open your mind and go accept d...
is that the truth that i said...

now i am missing you and i am wishing you would come back through my door...

today go meeting again...
why u have to go???
tomoro sheng bday d...
lol...
happy birthday to you first...
but also sorry to you...
i cant attend to your party ler...
the reason is cause i got tuition...
really a hundred apologize to u...
but i think that also is a good thing for me...
maybe i will happy the whole day tomoro d...
haha...
cause she got go tomoro d...
then he also got go d...
so maybe will be so miserable if i at there d...
so really sorry d...
i cant do it yet...
today meeting...
why i feel i like got let a people treat me like that before d???
that action...when he was huging me and sayang me...
haihs...
moody...
nitex..

wait for you...

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?
So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be
So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you
It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,

maybe that is true..i really cant live without you...

maybe my friends is true...
i really cant live without you...
i become so moody and quiet everyday...
i dono what can i do anymore...
feel so sad and moody...
get vamid today again cause forget to eat my lunch when meeting...
lol...
what can i forget again?
YOU???
i want but i cant...
i am feeling harder...
i am so addicted to you...
why???
but of couse you are so addicted to her...
u lie me but i try to believe and treat myself as a stupid...
lol...
i know u dont care anything...
i really feel so hard...
when i see it...
i really think that i can put down so easily...
but after trying i just remember that is not so easy and that is so difficult...
i duwan to love you anymore...
i duwan already...
but i cant?
why?
because i believe that i really cant live without you...

the truth that u never know.....

if you ask me whether i stil love you or not..
i can tell you da truth
i miss you but not loving you
i know outsider all thought i still very very love you
but inside my heart i already let you out from my life
i asking myself several times why i will jealous
and i get the answer now
i jealous is cause of i still love you...
but if i can control then i wont...
last time i very love you
but since the day i already let off
i let off all the love to you
outsider is thinking i'm a girl without guy won't die
i admit
but what i dislike is be alone
i like to be with you is because you bring me happy everyday but not happiness
i like you is because you enough naughty for me
this is the stupiest thing i do in my life

first trying!!!

today going meeting again d...
haha..
i am trying to let myself dont see at that...
and dont think at that...
but that is hard...
they are appear in front me every time and every second...
lol..
dono what can i say about that anymore...
it like already finish d...
and he start a new one...
he look so moody today...
dono what happen to him...
"are u okay??? what happen to u??? can u tell me???"

just stay at there until the day that u say u love me...

today went meeting at zhi hui's house again d...
lol...
damm bored and tired today...
we draw banner and plan our guides dance at there d...
that is nice d...
lol..
i saw something today and that will let me became moody d...
haihs...
can i hear it from u again???
i think not...
so i give up...
and just let it go...
can i do it?
i don't think so...
but i will try my best d...
cause i duwan let him feel hard d...
i just want he happy d..
maybe i will just stay at there until the day that u say u love me...
i believe it is imposible also d...

no matter what i do...i feel the pain

u tell me straight to me...
i starting scared talked w u...
cause i will feel the pain...
lol...
but its okay...
cry many times today and after that got become better ler...
haha...
so now i nothing what...
just let u go...
happy is the important...

trust me...i really want you...

(November 15)
i saw your personal msg today when i online...
lol...
i think that what you want to tell that girls gua???
but i want to tell u also...
"TRUST ME...I REALLY WANT YOU..."
this you tell me before when i saw back our msn chat log yeaterday d...
the past and present are really totally different d..
before...as hot as fire...
now...as cold as ice...
lol...
i feel the sad...
damm stupid i know...
today sabrina tell me a thing...
"IF YOU LOVE SOMETHING...JUST LET IT GO...IF IT COMES BACK...IT IS YOURS...IF IT DOENS'T IT NEVER WAS..."
so i let you go...

can we stay back as a friend???

he are asking me this question today and suddenly...
i damm scared when he ask me...
i duno what can i do anymore..
just know how to crying that time...
so i keep crying...
lol...
if he are happy...i will be happy too...
so i respect him and i agree it...
lol...
the reason he ask me like that is cause he like another girl d...
lol...
okay...
its okay...
i nothing to say d...
damm moody today...
nitex..

I am willing

(November 10)
today meeting early at enzio ahma house again...
damm tired and sleepy when we all reach there d..
we just practise our combined dance today...
lol...
but...just leave shea ling and sheng was huging in the living room when we all are practise the combined dance at the kitchen...
haha...
today he are so sleepy so he sleep over there...
but i know i naughty cause i keep kacau u when u sleeping d...
i give u something today at the living room there..
sheng and shealing were helping us more and more...
lol..
when he saw the present...he keep in laughing...
today he just sitting beside me and that was so near..
around 12++..
its the time to go to school...
all guides change our clothes at the room then got some tie hair at toilet...
but except me...
lol...
cause i tie my hair at the kitchen...
he keep huging me and sayang me when i finish tie my hair and waiting for our sabrina...
he ask me to give him sometimes...
and sorry for that...
its okay...
i never mind...
when i came back from school...
i receive a msg...
you was telling me that u willing and ask me to try...
i really get shocked at that time..
it is like a miracle to me...
lol..
thank you so much..

midnight 5am

(November 9)
first time...
i sleep so "early" d...
dam sleepy when i fold the swan for him...
but...it is worth to me lu...
first time do like that d thing for people also d...
lol...
got around 100++ there...
my finger was getting hurt when i cut the paper...
grrr....
i fold the paper start from 1am until 5am++ d...
I suddenly want do something for him when i am lying at the bed and ready want to sleep d...
hope you will like it d...

short post

(October...)
sory for short post d...
this few day really very busy for the traplex camp...
everyday also got meeting...
so not free d...
sorry...

the first unit meeting

(October...)
i meet enzio and jian ming at here...
lol...
they are look like so stranger...
and scary...
haha...
but we three have chat yesterday night using sms d...
lol...
go for enzio ahma house...
the enzio still asking who is minyi when we all reach there d...
lol...
really damm funny d...
the unit 3 d UL also come to our meeting dono for what...
so kpc d...
haha...
go there just sit at the corner cause damm paisei d...
haha...
we totally are like two different world d...
after that...
i go queens w sabrina...
then they all i dono became how ler...
haha

first meeting at penang free school

(October...)
Sory for late updated...
I will replace all d...
We had our first combined meeting at penang free school canteen d...
The meeting was late...
LOL...
Wait at there like stupid d...
And damm hot there d...
Guides w scouts are like totally different world like that...
The scouts like alien aneh d...
Haha...
Expecially the UL...
LOL...
And the unit 3 d UL...
We finish our meeting at the field there...
But unfortunately...
I saw nicholas there...
Damm miserable d...
All my friends are gossip at there about me d...
After that...
We end w the english scouts command...
Damm funny...

Friday 23, October


I am back!!!
Sory ya...
Haha...
Today just continue my blog...
Cause last week i am busy with my final exam!!!
That is very difficult for me...
Haha...
But luckily i already pass my geografi n sejarah today...
Woohoo...
I scard my mathe will become shit loo...
Haha...
On the week...
A lot of thing was happening...
I get food poisonuos...
N i first time go see doctor at midnight...
N the most unluckly is tomorrow was science exam!!!
So the next day when they are science exam...
I am feeling very hard...
N i dint finish my paper...
SHIT!!!
But never mind d...