hard but i want!!!

have sometimes will think that maybe still got a little bit chance...but maybe will be o% also...i dont know what can i do anymore...feel so hard...but i want to give up...in my heart...i know that we are impossible although we now are friend and more good than...but so what...still want wait or what... continue or stop it??? who can teach me...what i must do??? what he thinking??? and what i want??? i really still like him anot??? or that is just a kebiasaan...haihs...comfused a...i want find back the feel that we talk before...can i??? may i?? did i??? nope!!! i cant do it...it just will make me cant give up more and hard more...everytime when u talk to me...i feel so scare...why??? maybe it just scare u will say anything that i duwan hear...i promise myself that no matter what happen and i wont cry anymore...n i believe i can do it...i duwan be too weak already...even i cry...also wont in front anyones...even my family or my friend also nope...just now think back when traplex campfirenight 2009...unbelievelable u will come and talk to me...and we are stay at there for a moment and that time we are so close and so touching heart...i want it again...and i hope it wont be late...i feel so regret why that time i just keep quite no matter what u say to me...if give me another chance...i wont just keep quite...i want tell u what am i thinking this few years...everyone said that i like you...izit that truth??? i wont like you anymore...but so sorry...i know that i just can do it at this moment only...that time when u smile to me and when u talk to me...the memories and image wont be forget inside my brain even inside my heart also...i want you to know...i wont said that i love you...but i just can say that if got 1 day i know that u got girlfriend le, my heart will feel so pain...